Tuesday, September 18, 2007

I Would Like To Thank

Ramadan is killing me, especially taraweeh. Therefore I would like to thank a few people:

I would like to thank the Imam of our mosque. This man has amnesia every five minutes, in the middle of the prayer, and he will never get himself a quran. He makes each rukah extra long, and starts making every witar in a new way, once all three together and once two and three and once each one by itself. He can't make up his mind. And his duaa2 is like the haram's duaa2, your hands are numb by the end.

I would also like to thank the person who made the mosque, especially the one who designed the toilets. Why, oh why, has the mosque never heard of normal toilets, and has to have those "holes in the ground". I wonder if Arabic toilets where made to think people where still in the 19th century. They could've made a hole in the ground and it'd be better than those damn toilets. Plus people don't know how to use the flusher, so you have melted snickers in every toilet waiting for you (sorry if you were eating).

I would also like to thank the "grown-up" people next to me, who just can't keep there gases inside themselves. They smell of anything from mansaf to hotdogs, and their burps smell even worse. Why can't they hold themselves until they finish salah and go somewhere deserted and do what they have to do? Or if that is too hard, can they just cover their mouth with their hand? No, they have to poison you with their lethal gases, they don't care.

I would also like to thank the people who keep snivelling. Men shaan allah, men shaan ili khalakum, stop snivelling! There is an invention called tissues you know! Your snivelling gives me headaches, as well as the want to choke you with tissues till you die and stop snivelling. Actually, that's a good idea. I think I'll do that.

And finally, I would like to thank people who can't turn of their ringing mobiles, the people who keep screaming the word Ameen, the Egyptian workers who smell of extra concentrated sweat, the kids who keep setting of fireworks pretending its WW3, and a few others...

By the way, replace all 'thank' words in this post, with the words 'brutally kill' to understand this post.


  1. I like sarcastic issues, anyway I would like to thank "Imam" not "Iman"...:) lol

  2. I have changed it, thank you for telling me.

  3. Khaled, thanks for the insider's scoop. We have some of the same kind of happenings in churches, too. :)

  4. LOOOOL, hi I'm asma I'm relatively new to the blogging world and just discovered your funny blog-check mine out!

    Ok about the hole in the ground vs. toilet, people who are used to the whole in the ground find that they cant physically use the tioilet because it feels like they're going in their pants.

  5. Kinzi: Intresting! Do churches have arabic toliets as well?

    Asoom: Hello Asma, welcome to my blog! About the toliet, couldn't the mosque make half this and half that?

  6. Actually, a lot of Imams in Amman are not qualified to be in the position. They do it only for the salary. You have to search for those few who care about the comers.
    Now, scientists proved that counties where Western Toilets are not used, don't suffer from Hemorrhoids (Bawaseer:) at all because they use the Healthy:) hole in the ground.

  7. khaled.....wallah you're asking the wrong person!

  8. Well my friend, the only solution i can see for your problem is to try another mosque, or you can just not to to taraweeh, I mean, its a sunneh not a fard so its ok if you don't attend it :P