Friday, December 4, 2009

Taxi Driver And Smoking

I was riding with a taxi driver yesterday, and the strange person decides to convert his taxi into a public transport bus by stopping for two girls and loading them since they were supposedly on my journey route anyway.

So the girl in the back wants to smoke, after she takes out a cigarette and lights it, the driver says:

Driver: Smoking in the taxi is forbidden.
Girl: But I've already lighted it.
Driver: No please throw it out.
Girl: I can open the window.
Driver: No I have an infection in my lungs whenever I smell cigarette smoke.
Girl: OK I'll throw it out.

Later on when the taxi drops off the girl, he takes out a pack of cigarettes from his glove compartment and lights a cigarette.

Me: I thought you had an infection in your lungs.
Driver: (Chuckles to himself) Stupid girls.

Friday, November 27, 2009

Wednesday, November 4, 2009


This is a photo I found buried in my fathers hard drive. My father keeps many photos dating back from 1998 on his hard drive and they move with him from a computer to another when he upgrades. I copied the entire photo folder and began looking through it.

Lots of memories came back from looking at ancient almost forgotten photos. Alot of them where from when I was in Britain before I came to Jordan. This photo was taken sometime back in 2005, on the last day of school in Britain.

Sports day in the UK is a day at the end of school when the entire school takes the day off of regular activities to participate in sports and games. Its one of the many missing parts of our educational system in Jordan. Below is another picture of me, but taken a few days ago. You can use it to see how things have moved along in about four or five years.

Tuesday, October 27, 2009

People I Hate In Life

There are alot of good people in this world, people who will treat you like you treat them, forgive you when you make mistakes, be there for you when you need them. Some people on the other hand, will expect alot from you and do nothing, treat you badly even when you treat them well, and make your mistakes big deals. Here are a few people I really hate.

Ungratefuls, who will forget everything you have done for them on a single mistake. They will usually have never done anything for you, and if they did they would make a big deal out of it and remind you of it whenever they saw you.

Hypocrites, people who will make it look like you are the best person ever when you are around, and will agree with every word you say just to get some benefit out of you. Then when they meet someone else who has more benefits, they will completely forget you and treat you like vermin.

Superheroes, people who think they are the savior of all humanity, and if it were not for them we we would still be hitting two stones together to make fire. They enjoy boasting alot and despise their competition. If they think of something, it must be right. Superheroes never make mistakes.

Taxis, and if you have been following along with my blog for some time, you'll know what I'm talking about. Sure, there are alot of good taxi drivers doing their job for God and the country. But there are some taxis that are the scum of earth. I've wrote about them before.

Saturday, October 10, 2009

My Photo Journal

I grew up as a kid loving to take photographs; my dad would lend me his digital camera when we would go on trips and I would go crazy taking photographs of everything that could see. Over time I have collected several photographs from some of my journeys around the world. Here are six of my best photographs I have chosen to share with you.

Edinburgh, Britian

London, Britian

Al-Aqsa, Palestine

Paris, France

Medina, Saudi Arabia

Al-Aqsa, Palestine

Friday, October 9, 2009

Voice Recognition Software

This blog post was typed entirely using voice recognition software. People can say 120 words a minute but only type around 40 words a minute which makes for a big difference when using voice recognition software compared to using the keyboard.

I've only tried software built into Windows to recognize my voice but I only found it to be more time-consuming and full of mistakes, whereas if I used the keyboard I would've been faster.

The found a software for voice-recognition called Naturally speaking and I've used it for typing many Word documents and solving many school worksheets. The program itself adapts to your voice every time you use it to type your documents.

In comparison to the built-in voice recognition in Windows, this program allows for much more accurate recognition of voice producing fewer mistakes, and in the end you type much faster and get more things done in the same time.

I would recommend this software to anyone who finds typing large documents on the keyboard to be difficult or time-consuming. Even if you're like me and didn't find anything particularly wrong with typing on the keyboard, you would appreciate the speed of typing documents with voice recognition software.

Saturday, October 3, 2009

Names Around The House

Here around the house we usually have names for each other. Coming from a British background we tend to have strange english nicknames between us in our family, that come from their actions to others. Obviously no one gives a nickname to himself but other siblings give them nicknames.

For example, my brother is called the wind up merchant. The name means some one who is so good at annoying people he does it for a living. My brother usually makes stupid comments on just about anything and accompanies it with a cheesy grin on his face. This is usually why he has bruises on his arms.

My sister is called the miserable girl. She has just about everything yet she is so grumpy she goes around the house with the largest scowl on her face. My father usually tells her to smile but we are afraid her face might crack because she has never smiled in her life. Her scowl is usually scary because she will eat, drink and sleep with it on her face.

And I am nicknamed Kevin the teenager. If you ever watched british comedy, you will know kevin as the angry, grumpy teenager who lost the power of rational thinking, has a hunched back, and has no control of his arms. He usually yells out between grunts phrases like "I hate you", "This is so unfair", and "For gods sake". Check out the video below to see the brilliant Kevin the teenager comedy.

Thursday, September 24, 2009

Parking In Jordan

We are known for double and triple parking here in Amman, but sometimes it just gets even worse, usually around prayers. This mosque, known by the people in the area as Masjid Abu Eid, is a nightmare before and after prayers. People will come and literally park their cars in the middle of the road - as in the middle of road.

To make it worse people come and begin to fill in the gaps between cars and you end up with the entire road next to the mosque blocked. Some people will even defy the purpose of pavements and park their cars on them, so pedestrians must start walking on the streets and get run over.

The imam of the mosque addresses the people many times about the subject, but he could save his breath because no one really listens and they make special excuses for themselves and do the opposite of what people tell them. Its like when they asked people to avoid kissing in Eid and everyone made sure they kissed everyone they could find.

Monday, September 21, 2009

Download Limitation

I have a 2 Mb/s connection, from Orange, which supposedly has a 12 GB monthly limitation. Strangely enough, as you can see in the picture from JDownloader, I've downloaded over 23 GB this month and my connection speed is still soaring. Its rather peculiar because service from Orange used to be very bad, until once my father called them and complained about everything to a supervisor. Now even the livebox connection always works, although the internet stops working about once a week, which is normal from Orange. Can anyone explain why I have unlimited download limitation?

Eid Mubarak

This will not be your normal, everyday mandatory post about Eid. In fact, this post will more or less talk about some strange things we do in Eid. It is rather sad to see that, apart from a few people, we do the same routines every year. Take Eid for example, we usually go to the exact same houses in just about the same order every year, and this makes it rather boring.

Every eid visit will usually go like the following, knock on someones door after arriving without invitation, then when it opens we go in and start kissing and hugging each other while joking about swine flu and how the minister told us not to kiss or hug during his speech.

One thing you must not get wrong is remembering which females are related to you and which ones arent, and the proper Jordanian way to kiss, which goes left, right, right, and usually one more right to be more annoying. You could also grow a extra spiky beard so young children who kiss you get red cheeks.

Everyone will sit down on very uncomfortable chairs or sofas - why they make chairs with wooden backs, I will never know. The topics that come up are rather strange, of course I am never part of them but I always catch a phrase or two while I am between awake and asleep.

Our family meeting that usually takes place in someones house on Eid is quite a joke. Up to twenty people are in the room at the same time and you cannot hear a thing because they are all shouting in loud voices and arguing. There isnt anywhere to sit so I usually get cramped next to a very old person who smells, or I stay standing for a quarter of an hour.

Back to topic, the ma3moul they serve is not only unhealthy but also not anywhere near edible. It usually comes coated with powdered sugar that gets on my new shirt, or tastes very bland and is extremely large. Also, the chocolates - unless from Galaxy or Quality Street or something similar, usually end up in my pocket.

At the end of my day, my pockets will be bulging and I empty them on my desk. All the chocolates will go to my younger brother, who happily eats them with their wrapper still on them. By the way, all my family - mother, brothers and sister - went to Nablus to celebrate Eid. I refused to go their and babysit a dozen children, so I stayed behind with my father.

Saturday, September 19, 2009

Minesweeper The Movie

If the minesweeper game on Windows was made real, this would be its movie trailer. This is a rather funny comedy trailer by College Humour. And while we are on the subject, check out this other video of a parody of Halo 3 online multiplayer.

Thursday, September 17, 2009

Ramadan Feast Guide

How to know if your Ramadan feast is an absolute disaster:

  • If your guests come an hour late know that they were warned of your food and ate at home without telling you.
  • If you place the food on the table and they volunteer to give it out know that they don't find it appetizing to start with.
  • If your guests forget about your food and start eating and complementing your dates, know that your food was horrible.
  • If you taste your food and it doesn't taste too good, know that it really is a disaster, because food tastes better when you're hungry.
  • If your guests don't finish your food, know that they didn't like it. If they finish the food, know you didn't make enough.

Sunday, September 13, 2009

Helping Myself

In my household iftaar isn't always very good, it is usually what is leftover from yestarday, and I find it bland and unsatisfying. Either that, or it would be bamyeh or fasoolyeh. I always tell my dear mother to be creative when making dinner, she sometimes is and sometimes she isn't.

So sometimes I decide to go and help myself. The local corner shop is a few blocks away and I usually go there to buy a ton of stuff to feed myself. Its sort of like cavemen go to hunt for prey but in the twenty first century - although many still think of me as a caveman.

Back to the point, today was one of those days, so I went to the shop and bought myself a whole ton of food. All extremely nutritional of course, no doubt in that. I ended up spending around three or four dinars, of course my mother told me it will all go in the toliet in the end.

As seen in the photo I took, starting from left - two apple juice cartons, an Indomie packet, wafers from Eisberg, chewing gum, my favourite Kiwi and Lime juice, Galaxy chocolates, a bottle of water to avoid constipation, four ice cream bars, more fruit juices, M&Ms of course, two cheap Jordanian chocolates, and Dance biscuits.

And for those of you who think I'm fat or something, think again. All my old relatives tell me I have to get fatter for some reason and I am too weak. According to this BMI calculator I programmed myself, my Body Mass Index is 18. And if you're into that sort of stuff, I programmed it for this event.

Friday, September 11, 2009

New Computer

A few months ago my aging computer from eMachines, which is no longer called that these days anyway, finally moved on to another life when a power surge fried the entire machine, even though there was no lightning and we have a circuit breaker.

A week ago I decided it was time for a new computer. I needed a high performance computer for my daily use, from programming to modeling and slight gaming. My father promised me a computer of my choice when my results came out so I decided to see Stallion Computers, a computer store in Swefieh.

I only knew about the store from a few newspaper ads and from Hani Obaid - whom I have no idea were he went - but the store is great and the offer I took was rather good. I modified its specifications a bit from the default they were offering and I haggled the price down a bit.

Anyway the computer is here now, I must say the service I got from the store was very good, the staff are very friendly and understand what they are doing. The computer I got has the following specifications:

> Core 2 Quad 2.66 Ghz
> 3GB DDR2 Ram
> XFX Nvidia 250 GTS 1GB
> 400 Watt Power supply
> 320 GB Hard Drive
> 4 Speakers with Subwoofer
> 19 Inch Samsung Monitor

The transition to my first custom built computer is a very unique and satisfying one. I am usually the multitasking, having rather heavy programs open such as Photoshop, After effects and Dev c++, along with Firefox and other similar programs.

In addition to being able to do all of this, I can now play games that demand alot of power rather easily and at maximum settings. For example, my current build can play Crysis at 1440x900 with all on Very High with elegance. Most other computers fail to do this.

The following are a few pictures from my current setup. Those of you who saw my previous post about my workspace will notice its much more elegant, so to say. Anyway, more posts about this subject will come soon, for now some photos.

Monday, August 24, 2009

Taxi Man

Here is a video I found while around the internet, about a taxi driver telling us about the districts of Amman. I know the guy is a taxi driver and thinks he is superior, but he is rather funny. He should try out stand up comedy one day. At least it'll get him a bit more than taxi driving.

Sunday, August 23, 2009

A Ramadan Prayer

دعاء صائم قبل الإفطار

* * *

اللهم نفسي، اللهم بطني
اللهم إحفظ مالي
اللهم إحفظني من عين الحسود
اللهم أطعمني من ما لذ و طاب
اللهم إن معدتي جائعة فأطعمها
اللهم إن طبقي فارغ فأملئه
اللهم إن سيارتي قديمة
اللهم إن وظيفتي مملة
اللهم إن زوجتي مُتعِبة
اللهم إلعن البائعين الدجالين
السراقين، المستغلين
اللهم إجمعهم عددا
وأقتلهم بددا
ولا تفارق منهم أحدا
اللهم نفسي، اللهم مالي
اللهم امين

* * *

Saturday, August 22, 2009

Dabshaat: Part Four

Why do idiots (ie. 6afayleh/5alayleh/sa3aydeh) always fast the second day of Ramadan and skip the first?

Because the first day of Ramadan is always the hardest.

* * * * * *
This dabsheh was brought to you by Zain. *cheesy tone follows*
And the rather ironic image is an ad by Burger King.

Thursday, August 20, 2009

Ramadan Is On Saturday

According to Ammon News, Saturday will be the first day of Ramadan. I would like to wish you all Ramadan Mubarak and Kol 3am Wa Antum Bi5ayr.

عمون - محمد الشاكر - اعلن قاضي القضاة إمام الحضرة الهاشمية د. أحمد هليل ان يوم غد الجمعة هو اليوم المتمم لشهر شعبان وعليه يكون السبت أول ايام شهر رمضان المبارك .

جاء إعلان هليل بعد ان عقدت دائرة قاضي القضاة مساء الخميس في مسجد المغفور له الملك الحسين بن طلال، مجلسا شرعيا علميا لتحري هلال شهر رمضان المبارك .

وحضر المجلس قاضي القضاة، ووزير الأوقاف، ومحافظ العاصمة ، الأرصاد الجوية، وعدد من الشخصيات المدنية والدينية، وممثلون عن مختلف المؤسسات والدوائر ذات العلاقة، وفلكيون ورجال إعلام.


Monday, August 17, 2009

Jordanian Sidewalks Fail

Because olive trees permanently reside there.

Because people find them useful for dumping their rubbish.

Because they are where the government decides to place lamp posts.

Because trash bins have been placed on them.

Because barbarians decide to use them as personal garages.

Because a very clever person placed his tanker on it.

Ironically, I took all these photos on the street from my house to the local corner shop.

Thursday, August 13, 2009

Monday, August 10, 2009

Getting IGCSE Results

Just wanted to share my good news with every one: after all the hard work of the past year and having the beloved Xbox 360 taken away for the whole of exams month, I got my IGSCE results today.

I woke up this morning to the sound of my mobile ringing. It was my friend who was already at school and taking his exam results. I said "Hello, where are you?", to be replied with a screaming voice yelling "MABROOK! YOU GOT STRAIGHT A STARS!", then he hanged up.

My heart almost stopped so I went and had breakfast and called him again. My friend is an example of the boy who cried wolf, so I wasn't really sure he was true. He told me I got six A stars - the A* is an equivalent of 98% when turned to Tawjihi.

I told my dad, who started literally skipping around the room. Then he looked at me and said "Why aren't you dressed, we need to go to school and get your certificate!". A few hours later, and I'm back here at home getting ready to go and celebrate somewhere with my friends.

Sunday, August 9, 2009

Videos From Jordan

Doing a quick search on Youtube for Jordan yields some rather interesting results worth sharing with the online community. The first video is a cheesy television ad for Daraghmeh. The second is some out takes from Arab Superstar for Jordanians. The third is a Jordanian remake of Resident Evil. The fourth is a video of a great governmental teacher doing what he does best. And the fifth is by far the best, a couple getting married by walking along Abdoun bridge. Be sure to check out Talaween as well.

Tuesday, August 4, 2009

My Work Space

This is my desk, my own space in life. The large glossy laptop in the middle is actually my mothers, she lends me it when I do heavy duty things that need modern computers, like all the Adobe collection. Its connected to an old 150gb hard drive I got passed down from my dad, when he bought a much newer one. There is also the wireless mouse, not mine - it came with my mums laptop.

And, the silver tiny laptop, the Sony Vaio, is mine. Its closed on purpose for the camera, when opened you will realise its a mess. It was passed down from my mother, who got it passed down from my father. By the time it got to me, all the keyboard keys have been plucked out, the webcam no longer works, the screen is rather rigid and only moves a few degrees, and the outer casing is half broken - also bare in mind the laptop is about three or four years old.

I, being the less fortunate one, had to reformat the laptop, restore a few things to it and clean it before I could use it. Moving on, the dotted box to the right of the laptop is my latest DIY. I found some old, broken speakers lying around the house, so I took them apart and fixed them and fitted them into a perfume box. Behind them are the entire Alex Rider series - yes, I read books. To the far left side are many worksheets and notebooks from last year.

Up on the shelf, starting from the left, is my dictionary, a few books and some spare batteries, an old broken microscope, more books and dictionaries, a large stack of CDs, and my old past papers and textbooks from last year as well. And this, is just about my desk. Broken utopia. Stay tuned for part two, my cupboard (storage, not clothes). Oh, and anyone wanting to take a photo of their workspace and talk about it is more than welcome to.

Monday, August 3, 2009


Some people were so sick and tired of taxi drivers, they decided to make an entire video out of it. I treasure videos like these because everything you see in them is funny yet true. If you've never used Youtube before, or don't want to watch any more videos, make this one your last one. This video should be played right after national anthems. By the way, the quality of this version is rather low, you can watch a much shorter but higher quality version here.

Saturday, August 1, 2009

Barbarians Amongst Us

When intelligent people tell Jordanian village idiots they are ill mannered and act like barbarians, they consider them a traitor to the Kingdom and turn berserk. However, I must say that the Jordanian citizen is a disrespectful person who has no manners even to host his wedding party in a civilized way. This barbarian that dared to live next to us set up his tent in the middle of a damn junction, almost blocking it.

To make things even worse, the pig and his minions kept dancing with very loud music until midnight while the neighborhood was trying to sleep. These types of people do not deserve to live amongst other mannered, civilized people. They should be stoned to death, in public, while naked, and their corpses made into shawerma and fed to taxi drivers.

Besides, what type of a wedding would dancing your head off while your ear drums malfunction? My wedding would consist of a 60 inch flat screen television hooked up to large speakers and a Xbox 360. My friends and I would play continuously for the entire night while sitting on large sofas, guzzling down gallons of Mountain Dew and eating cheesecake. Young men only, women will have to go shop till they drop or go and catch up on the latest gossip. Now that's my type of wedding!

Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tawjihi Results

The nation has been put on high alert as people today brace themselves for the most stressing day in Jordan. Tonight at 6 o clock, people will flock to whatever medium they take their information from to find out their sons or daughters Tawjihi results.

Similar to what comes after a football match in the Sports City stadium, the barbarians will gather in cars and honk, scream and drift until the next day. Even if the student got a 50%. Jordanians have got the tradition of becoming careless and disrespective when they are over excited.

Whats stranger is that everyone else has to suffer while they celebrate. Car drifting will cause road accidents. Shouting and clapping while hung from windows or sunroofs will cause even more accidents. Honking and playing loud music will stop people from sleeping well.

So in preparation for the event at sometime around five, I'm going to close all windows and pull down the abajours. I will close all doors and hang up large, thick, sound proof mattresses. I will then turn on all air conditions to chaos mode and get many gallons of Mountain Dew.

The problem is, there is no point to all these celebrations. Many dimwits who fail to realize the meaning of studying, or are just mentally challenged, will fail to get even past the half way mark. Their parents will usually make short notice of them, or they will relieve their parents and do it themselves - its happened before.