Taxi Drivers: Worst Species?

My dad ranks them between single celled organisms, and virus's like amoeba. I couldn't agree more. In Jordan, the world's most dirtiest and dumbest species can be found - taxi drivers. They swear, they smoke, they cheat, they scowl, they act... oh, the list never finishes. Find a bad description and it will fit on a taxi driver.

One type of taxi is the dirty one, and this is the most common. When you signal to the taxi, you can see inside a fat pig sitting in the seat. He's probably never washed in his life, and wears the worst clothes that you wouldn't be seen dead in. But that's not it, his taxi is worse.

The leather of the seats is half torn, the seat belts don't work (I once tried to put mine on, and he said "Shoo, kinak khayef ala halak?! Hahaha!"). You can see some weird gooey liquid on the floor, and there are cups of empty coffee mixed with chewing gum everywhere. And he smokes at least 3 cigarettes in one ride.

The other type is the "religious" one. He has a dirty taxi (as always), which is covered with writings like "Allah, Muhammed" or "Al shifaa bi alkuran" or "Aki al muslim, al tadkeen haram". He has a long beard, which he has never combed in his life, and wears a dishasah.

He keeps muttering stuff, but when he gets angry you see a new taxi driver: "YEL3AN ABOOK, MEN WEEN IT ALAMIT ILSAWAAH YA [beep] IL [beep]".

Another type is the cheating one, like a evil fox in a car. He has a nice car, tempting you to come in. The meter is no where to be seen, usually next to his foot or under the chair. The meter starts at 500, not 150, but that's all part of the plan. As soon as you get in, he zooms off.

If you tell him right or left, he pretends not to hear. He sometimes even takes you to a completely different place. He chooses longer paths and "shortcuts" so the meter goes up. And once you get to your destination, the meter might magically turn off so the driver will have to make up a number, or once you pay him he says he has no change (and this always happens).

Or there's the stupid weird one. He sticks tons of weird pictures all over his car, he has decorations on the steering wheel, the meter, the gear, the taboon, mostly everywhere. Some have these strange lights inside, so when you get in you feel you're in a disco.

They have annoying habits like clicking their fingers or making strange sounds with their teeth, or - if you're very unlucky - they fart. They drive either well over the speed limit or drive like a snail, and have huge systems at the back booming some type of stupid music.

And sometimes you have a mix - some of this and some of that. So now, you must thank god that you have a car and do not have to see the "masayib" taxi drivers give you every day. Alhamdullah.