Saturday, September 1, 2007

Taxi Drivers: Worst Species?

My dad ranks them between single celled organisms, and virus's like amoeba. I couldn't agree more. In Jordan, the world's most dirtiest and dumbest species can be found - taxi drivers. They swear, they smoke, they cheat, they scowl, they act... oh, the list never finishes. Find a bad description and it will fit on a taxi driver.

One type of taxi is the dirty one, and this is the most common. When you signal to the taxi, you can see inside a fat pig sitting in the seat. He's probably never washed in his life, and wears the worst clothes that you wouldn't be seen dead in. But that's not it, his taxi is worse.

The leather of the seats is half torn, the seat belts don't work (I once tried to put mine on, and he said "Shoo, kinak khayef ala halak?! Hahaha!"). You can see some weird gooey liquid on the floor, and there are cups of empty coffee mixed with chewing gum everywhere. And he smokes at least 3 cigarettes in one ride.

The other type is the "religious" one. He has a dirty taxi (as always), which is covered with writings like "Allah, Muhammed" or "Al shifaa bi alkuran" or "Aki al muslim, al tadkeen haram". He has a long beard, which he has never combed in his life, and wears a dishasah.

He keeps muttering stuff, but when he gets angry you see a new taxi driver: "YEL3AN ABOOK, MEN WEEN IT ALAMIT ILSAWAAH YA [beep] IL [beep]".

Another type is the cheating one, like a evil fox in a car. He has a nice car, tempting you to come in. The meter is no where to be seen, usually next to his foot or under the chair. The meter starts at 500, not 150, but that's all part of the plan. As soon as you get in, he zooms off.

If you tell him right or left, he pretends not to hear. He sometimes even takes you to a completely different place. He chooses longer paths and "shortcuts" so the meter goes up. And once you get to your destination, the meter might magically turn off so the driver will have to make up a number, or once you pay him he says he has no change (and this always happens).

Or there's the stupid weird one. He sticks tons of weird pictures all over his car, he has decorations on the steering wheel, the meter, the gear, the taboon, mostly everywhere. Some have these strange lights inside, so when you get in you feel you're in a disco.

They have annoying habits like clicking their fingers or making strange sounds with their teeth, or - if you're very unlucky - they fart. They drive either well over the speed limit or drive like a snail, and have huge systems at the back booming some type of stupid music.

And sometimes you have a mix - some of this and some of that. So now, you must thank god that you have a car and do not have to see the "masayib" taxi drivers give you every day. Alhamdullah.


  1. if you interact with people belonging top other preofessions you'll find many among them with very bad morals, it's just we all know taxi drivers very well

  2. lol, yes i agree...thank God i have a car, that day, i went with a friend to a place, and had to come back to my car in a taxi, when i got there, he was an old man, i thought in myself: "ya 7aram...i guess he has to work to his age cuz he is in need", i asked him to rais the window, and to lower the sound of the radio, since it was hitting in my head, so he said:" it is hot here(nar el dinia), wi haina..kharsanlek el radio", i was like...ino wala eshee!!ba3deen i asked him to stop at a point before the traffic jam, he said" tab ma kan nezelete qabel, darore etfwtene fe el 2zmeh..." i was like sorry for feeling sorry for him, and i said to myself, ppl deserve what God to them, and some ppl r not ment to be i was soooo

  3. Its a very bad day when i have to ride a taxi. The taxi driver starts telling me his theories about life, religion, politics and Women.
    BTW, their theory about women is that they are useless creatures:)

  4. Hamede: Hahaha

    Hareega: Bad morals? Lol

    Miss Sea Lover: "Hay karasnalek alradio" rofl how stubborn taxi drivers can be.

    Bilal: Its good you got a car now ;)

    M Kilany: lol

  5. Khaled, I missed this post! A very accurate description of some of the worst I have seen, except for the time I had to jump out of one and he chased me down the street.

    There have been some good ones. I make sure to get their card and call them if the car is in the shop.

  6. and I followed kinzi over here LOL

    One time a took a cab in irbid and the guy started pulled over and picked up another passenger saying "ma3lash ma3lash footi" and then picked up a third, I was like huh???? but I wasn't sure if this was normal irbid taxi etiquette so I didn't say anything and neither did the other two

  7. Khaled, kharasnalek il-radio is a blessing. I take cabs every day, i always listen to mp3s, and this one guy:

    Driver: What are you listening to ?
    Me: Music
    Driver: Can i listen
    Me: No
    Driver: Ya3ni mish 3ajbak il-mazika ili ana msha3'ilha
    Me: 7a2ak 3alay ya 3ami

    * Driver turns up radio so loud, my eardrums almost pop out *

    Driver: Keeef, 3ajbatak halaa, hahahahaha !