Tawjihi Results

The nation has been put on high alert as people today brace themselves for the most stressing day in Jordan. Tonight at 6 o clock, people will flock to whatever medium they take their information from to find out their sons or daughters Tawjihi results.

Similar to what comes after a football match in the Sports City stadium, the barbarians will gather in cars and honk, scream and drift until the next day. Even if the student got a 50%. Jordanians have got the tradition of becoming careless and disrespective when they are over excited.

Whats stranger is that everyone else has to suffer while they celebrate. Car drifting will cause road accidents. Shouting and clapping while hung from windows or sunroofs will cause even more accidents. Honking and playing loud music will stop people from sleeping well.

So in preparation for the event at sometime around five, I'm going to close all windows and pull down the abajours. I will close all doors and hang up large, thick, sound proof mattresses. I will then turn on all air conditions to chaos mode and get many gallons of Mountain Dew.

The problem is, there is no point to all these celebrations. Many dimwits who fail to realize the meaning of studying, or are just mentally challenged, will fail to get even past the half way mark. Their parents will usually make short notice of them, or they will relieve their parents and do it themselves - its happened before.

Epic Failiure

The term fail on the web is given to someone that fails at something miserably. The internet is so dedicated to this kind of stuff, they've made an entire channel on Youtube for it.

Its somehow like home videos submitted to television but without the cheesy presenter and more times the fail. Here are a few hand picks from the fail blog channel that I thought were the best.

A guy finds no lemonade at Burger King and decides to call 911. If you've ever played GTA IV, you'll think this guy is Little Jacob.


When the letter 'b' is swapped with the letter 's', it can make catastrophic results. This man was giving a lecture and failed badly.


If you thought Mother Russia was bad enough, you should see Japan. Trains there rival India for craziness. Not for the claustrophobic.


This is what too much sports does to you. When you're talking about something very serious and someone comes and does the impossible.

Half Blood Prince Review

The entire Harry Potter genre proved to be a rather difficult one to tackle when it came to shift from the book to the movie. The series started out as bland but kept to the book religiously, whereas starting from the third with a new director, it took a new angle in cutting and changing from the book to give the movie some charm.


Although this move was somehow criticized, I praised the move. My opinion was later backed when the fourth movie came out, the Goblet of Fire, and was a rather groundbreaking hit to the series. It somehow kept to the story while maintaining the action that blockbuster movies have. The plot helped the movie because it was a rather good story.


Then came the fifth that somehow disappointed many, including me. The movie felt a bit bland and at the same time rarely kept to the books plot either. Half of the movie was Harry Potter panting in front of the camera or withering in his sleep. It also took a rather dark side of the series, but that was partly the books blame, in my opinion.


Many people thought the sixth, the Half Blood Prince, was going to disappoint everyone again, but it seemed to learn from earlier mistakes which many movies fail to do. The book was a rather hard piece to tackle but the movie actually takes it well. While somehow keeping to the majority of the books plot line in someway, the movie manages to pack everything people liked into two hours and a half.

The movie depicts many action scenes, with comedic scenes between here and there with well acted drama to tie everything together. The soundtrack works really well with the movie to create the feel of action or sadness for example. The visual effects in this movie are one of the best I've ever seen. Without giving too much away, this movie is by far the best in the series and one of the best movies I've ever seen.

World War Simple Version

I stumbled upon this cartoon strip on Deviant Art today. The author depicts the war in a humorous way. It's worth the read. And once you're done with World War One, there's Two as well!

Conversations With Taxis

I thought I'd share a few conversations I've had with strange taxi drivers. If you've been following with me, I first identified them as a different species, guided you all as to how to ride with them, and finally told you why to boycott them.

Here is my fourth take on the never ending story, my conversations with taxi drivers. Take these as case studies, so you are fully prepared to encounter a taxi driver one day or another. Remember the conversation will start with the taxi driver talking then me, so you don't get mixed up which ones which.

(By the way, this post may look very long but that's because it has many line breaks, it should only take about two minutes to read through. Enjoy!)

* * *

وين رايح يا شب؟
على المدينة الرياضية
إبعيد إكثير المدينة الرياضية
منشان هيك أنا إركبت معاك
لا بس هي مش على طريقي
طب أنا دافعلك يا أخوي
طيب إركب خلصني

* * *

ما بقدر أوصلك لازم أصلي
نعم؟
لازم أصلي الظهر
الصلاة خلصت، أقاموها قبل عشر دقائق
طيب أنا بدي أصلي لحالي
إذا ما بدك إتوصلني ما تقولي بدي أصلي قول ما بدي أوصلك
طيب إذا هيك ما بدي أوصلك
شكرا يا أخوي و مع السلامة

* * *

يمين ولا إشمال؟
يمين لو سمحت
ليش يمين يعني؟
منشان من أهناك بيتي
طب ليش مش إشمال؟
خلص على راحتك ما دام الحساب عليك
يا زلمة كنت بمزح معاك رح إنروح يمين

* * *

إبتعرف شو صار إمبارح؟
إيش صار إمبارح
عبد الله رجع من العمرة
مين عبد الله؟
عبد الله، ما إبتعرفوا؟
قصدك الملك عبد الله؟
اه، الملك.. وين قلتلي رايح إنت؟

* * *

متذكر قصة تفجيرات عمان؟
نعم
أنا أظن بعرف مين وراها
نعم
الشيعة بالعراق
نعم
هم بكرهونا و كانوا من زمان بدهم يقتلونا
نعم
و كمان دينهم بأمرهم أنهم يقتلونا قبل الأمريكان
نعم
ليش كل إشي بحكي، بترد علي بنعم؟
نعم
طيب خلص رح أسكت

* * *

أحكيلك نكتة
لا شكرا شبعان من الدبشات
لا مش دبشة نكتة حلوه
طيب ما بدي أسمعها
ليش يا أخوي زعلان مني
ما بعرف
الله يسامحك أنا قصرت معاك
الله يسامح الجميع

* * *

أنا عندي شرط واحد لكل واحد بركب معاي
شو هاذا الشرط
إذا وقفتني أي بنت لازم تنزل و أركبها
ها ها، ما أزقعك
طب أنت إبترجع وره وهي إبتركب قدام
كمان؟
شرط بسيط جدا يا أخوي
طب إمشي، الله يهديك

* * *

شايف كل الأزمة الإقتصادية، أنا بحلها بسهولة
جميل
بس هم بعينوني مدير بنك، و أنا عندي الخبرة لحل كل المشاكل
(بعد مرور عشرون دقيقة) نعم
طيب إيش رأيك أنت؟
رأي بإيش؟
اللي كنت بحكي قبل إشوي
ما كنت إمركز معاك ولله

* * *

أحسابك يأخوي دينار و نصف
(بعطي دينارين) إتفضل
ما معاي نص دينار والله
(طبعا إبن الحرام معاه كنوز فرعون بس هو نصاب كذاب) نعم؟
لازم إتسامحني يا أخوي
طيب هات الدينارين و بروح بدورلك على إفراطة
لا إستنا... يا سبحان الله، طلع معاي نص دينار بجيبتي
يا سبحان الله

* * *

يا أخوي الكريم، التدخين حرام شرعا
(ترجمة: كلام كبير من سعادة أكبر منافق بالعالم) طب أنا ما بدخن
طيب أنا بنصحك لوجه الله تعالى
(ترجمة: الأخ منافق، لحية مش مقصوصة منشان الشفرة ضايعة) طيب شكرا على النصيحة
أهلا و سهلا يا أخوي الكريم

* * *

Airplane Crashes

First it was an Air France plane.


Then a Yemeni plane.


And now an Iranian plane.

All crash shortly after take off and (almost) everyone on board dies. This calls for a united force of Arabs sitting at their computers making up conspiracy theories! Possible theories some idiots will conjure up will either be related to doomsday, Israeli conspiracies, or the Bermuda triangle.