Wednesday, July 29, 2009

Tawjihi Results

The nation has been put on high alert as people today brace themselves for the most stressing day in Jordan. Tonight at 6 o clock, people will flock to whatever medium they take their information from to find out their sons or daughters Tawjihi results.

Similar to what comes after a football match in the Sports City stadium, the barbarians will gather in cars and honk, scream and drift until the next day. Even if the student got a 50%. Jordanians have got the tradition of becoming careless and disrespective when they are over excited.

Whats stranger is that everyone else has to suffer while they celebrate. Car drifting will cause road accidents. Shouting and clapping while hung from windows or sunroofs will cause even more accidents. Honking and playing loud music will stop people from sleeping well.

So in preparation for the event at sometime around five, I'm going to close all windows and pull down the abajours. I will close all doors and hang up large, thick, sound proof mattresses. I will then turn on all air conditions to chaos mode and get many gallons of Mountain Dew.

The problem is, there is no point to all these celebrations. Many dimwits who fail to realize the meaning of studying, or are just mentally challenged, will fail to get even past the half way mark. Their parents will usually make short notice of them, or they will relieve their parents and do it themselves - its happened before.

Tuesday, July 28, 2009

Epic Failiure

The term fail on the web is given to someone that fails at something miserably. The internet is so dedicated to this kind of stuff, they've made an entire channel on Youtube for it.

Its somehow like home videos submitted to television but without the cheesy presenter and more times the fail. Here are a few hand picks from the fail blog channel that I thought were the best.

A guy finds no lemonade at Burger King and decides to call 911. If you've ever played GTA IV, you'll think this guy is Little Jacob.

When the letter 'b' is swapped with the letter 's', it can make catastrophic results. This man was giving a lecture and failed badly.

If you thought Mother Russia was bad enough, you should see Japan. Trains there rival India for craziness. Not for the claustrophobic.

This is what too much sports does to you. When you're talking about something very serious and someone comes and does the impossible.

Saturday, July 25, 2009

Half Blood Prince Review

The entire Harry Potter genre proved to be a rather difficult one to tackle when it came to shift from the book to the movie. The series started out as bland but kept to the book religiously, whereas starting from the third with a new director, it took a new angle in cutting and changing from the book to give the movie some charm.

Although this move was somehow criticized, I praised the move. My opinion was later backed when the fourth movie came out, the Goblet of Fire, and was a rather groundbreaking hit to the series. It somehow kept to the story while maintaining the action that blockbuster movies have. The plot helped the movie because it was a rather good story.

Then came the fifth that somehow disappointed many, including me. The movie felt a bit bland and at the same time rarely kept to the books plot either. Half of the movie was Harry Potter panting in front of the camera or withering in his sleep. It also took a rather dark side of the series, but that was partly the books blame, in my opinion.

Many people thought the sixth, the Half Blood Prince, was going to disappoint everyone again, but it seemed to learn from earlier mistakes which many movies fail to do. The book was a rather hard piece to tackle but the movie actually takes it well. While somehow keeping to the majority of the books plot line in someway, the movie manages to pack everything people liked into two hours and a half.

The movie depicts many action scenes, with comedic scenes between here and there with well acted drama to tie everything together. The soundtrack works really well with the movie to create the feel of action or sadness for example. The visual effects in this movie are one of the best I've ever seen. Without giving too much away, this movie is by far the best in the series and one of the best movies I've ever seen.

Thursday, July 23, 2009

World War Simple Version

I stumbled upon this cartoon strip on Deviant Art today. The author depicts the war in a humorous way. It's worth the read. And once you're done with World War One, there's Two as well!

Monday, July 20, 2009

Conversations With Taxis

I thought I'd share a few conversations I've had with strange taxi drivers. If you've been following with me, I first identified them as a different species, guided you all as to how to ride with them, and finally told you why to boycott them.

Here is my fourth take on the never ending story, my conversations with taxi drivers. Take these as case studies, so you are fully prepared to encounter a taxi driver one day or another. Remember the conversation will start with the taxi driver talking then me, so you don't get mixed up which ones which.

(By the way, this post may look very long but that's because it has many line breaks, it should only take about two minutes to read through. Enjoy!)

* * *

وين رايح يا شب؟
على المدينة الرياضية
إبعيد إكثير المدينة الرياضية
منشان هيك أنا إركبت معاك
لا بس هي مش على طريقي
طب أنا دافعلك يا أخوي
طيب إركب خلصني

* * *

ما بقدر أوصلك لازم أصلي
لازم أصلي الظهر
الصلاة خلصت، أقاموها قبل عشر دقائق
طيب أنا بدي أصلي لحالي
إذا ما بدك إتوصلني ما تقولي بدي أصلي قول ما بدي أوصلك
طيب إذا هيك ما بدي أوصلك
شكرا يا أخوي و مع السلامة

* * *

يمين ولا إشمال؟
يمين لو سمحت
ليش يمين يعني؟
منشان من أهناك بيتي
طب ليش مش إشمال؟
خلص على راحتك ما دام الحساب عليك
يا زلمة كنت بمزح معاك رح إنروح يمين

* * *

إبتعرف شو صار إمبارح؟
إيش صار إمبارح
عبد الله رجع من العمرة
مين عبد الله؟
عبد الله، ما إبتعرفوا؟
قصدك الملك عبد الله؟
اه، الملك.. وين قلتلي رايح إنت؟

* * *

متذكر قصة تفجيرات عمان؟
أنا أظن بعرف مين وراها
الشيعة بالعراق
هم بكرهونا و كانوا من زمان بدهم يقتلونا
و كمان دينهم بأمرهم أنهم يقتلونا قبل الأمريكان
ليش كل إشي بحكي، بترد علي بنعم؟
طيب خلص رح أسكت

* * *

أحكيلك نكتة
لا شكرا شبعان من الدبشات
لا مش دبشة نكتة حلوه
طيب ما بدي أسمعها
ليش يا أخوي زعلان مني
ما بعرف
الله يسامحك أنا قصرت معاك
الله يسامح الجميع

* * *

أنا عندي شرط واحد لكل واحد بركب معاي
شو هاذا الشرط
إذا وقفتني أي بنت لازم تنزل و أركبها
ها ها، ما أزقعك
طب أنت إبترجع وره وهي إبتركب قدام
شرط بسيط جدا يا أخوي
طب إمشي، الله يهديك

* * *

شايف كل الأزمة الإقتصادية، أنا بحلها بسهولة
بس هم بعينوني مدير بنك، و أنا عندي الخبرة لحل كل المشاكل
(بعد مرور عشرون دقيقة) نعم
طيب إيش رأيك أنت؟
رأي بإيش؟
اللي كنت بحكي قبل إشوي
ما كنت إمركز معاك ولله

* * *

أحسابك يأخوي دينار و نصف
(بعطي دينارين) إتفضل
ما معاي نص دينار والله
(طبعا إبن الحرام معاه كنوز فرعون بس هو نصاب كذاب) نعم؟
لازم إتسامحني يا أخوي
طيب هات الدينارين و بروح بدورلك على إفراطة
لا إستنا... يا سبحان الله، طلع معاي نص دينار بجيبتي
يا سبحان الله

* * *

يا أخوي الكريم، التدخين حرام شرعا
(ترجمة: كلام كبير من سعادة أكبر منافق بالعالم) طب أنا ما بدخن
طيب أنا بنصحك لوجه الله تعالى
(ترجمة: الأخ منافق، لحية مش مقصوصة منشان الشفرة ضايعة) طيب شكرا على النصيحة
أهلا و سهلا يا أخوي الكريم

* * *

Wednesday, July 15, 2009

Airplane Crashes

First it was an Air France plane.

Then a Yemeni plane.

And now an Iranian plane.

All crash shortly after take off and (almost) everyone on board dies. This calls for a united force of Arabs sitting at their computers making up conspiracy theories! Possible theories some idiots will conjure up will either be related to doomsday, Israeli conspiracies, or the Bermuda triangle.

Monday, July 13, 2009

The World Ends In 2012

People these days love making up theories. In fact, most of the time when something bad happens they will put the blame on something supernatural when in reality it is themselves. They would be the worst hypocrites ever yet they believe in envy, luck, spells, curses, genies, etc.

There has been a rumor on the internet that people speculate the world will end in 2012. This is due to the fact that the Aztec calender ends on December 21st of that year. People have been so interested in this doomsday theory, someone decided to make a movie out of it.

Whats strange about these peoples trust in this event is that no one winds back the clock, and remembers what happened a few years ago, in the year 2000. To everyone, that year was doomsday, the absolute end of the world. People made up theories as to how the world would not be able to go past two millenniums and such.

Probably the only reasonable thing people had to worry about was the Y2K virus. Everyone was so scared because the date of computers would go terribly wrong and they thought everything would blow up. On new years eve, banks printed out entire pages of all their databases on paper and hoped for the worst. The next day the only major fault was the date turning back to 1900.

So citizens of earth, calm down. The day earth will end is not known on purpose so people will take it into themselves to believe in God. If everyone knew the day because an Aztec calender ran out of rock to scribble onto, what would the point be? Anyway, that's my take on the story. Care to share yours?

Wednesday, July 8, 2009

Boycott All Taxi Drivers

I call for a boycott of all taxi drivers. Enough of their filth in our cities and their cars in our streets. Even if it is a matter of life or death, you should rather die then take a taxi. This is because taxi drivers...
  • Feel superior to other human beings as if they were the chosen ones.
  • Will not stop for you unless you are a woman in your twenties.
  • Smoke so many cigarettes they are the cause of global warming.
  • Take showers and replace their clothes only on special occasions.
  • Consider their counter faulty if the price does not match their needs.
  • Can decide to go to only certain places if they wish.
  • Turn themselves in services and pick up several people to get more money.
  • Can decide to take only certain routes from one place to the other.
  • Think turning up their cars systems volume will make them cooler.
  • Transform their cars into their own personal homes.
  • Tell everyone their job is only a vacation from gathering riches elsewhere.
  • See nothing wrong in their manners and behavior.
  • Drive like they own the road and have built it with their own hands.
  • Scowl at you when you try to put on your seat belt that doesn't work.
  • Squash the passenger behind them so their highness can relax.
  • Hate you when, ironically, you are their source of income.

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Is Islamic Finance The Answer?

I stumbled upon this article this morning and thought I might share it with you.

Experts in Islamic finance believe their way of doing business has shielded them from the global credit crisis. But how does it differ from conventional Western finance?

A former executive director of the International Monetary Fund, Dr Abbas Mirakhor, says wider Islamic economics relies on God's guidance, handed down almost 1,400 years ago.

There is a "consciousness of a supreme creator and a system that he has provided", he says. What we know as the conventional Western way does not have that, which is "really the major difference between the two", he adds.

In practical terms, the most significant difference is that charging interest is not allowed in Islamic finance. Neither are most forms of speculative investment permitted, such as hedging or derivatives trading.


George Galloway On Israel

George Galloway was always a great man who stood up for the Arabs when they were attacked by Israel and the United States. But what made him great was that he knew how to talk and defend his opinions. Here is a video that was made popular back when Israel invaded Lebanon in 2006.

Saturday, July 4, 2009

The Terrorists Win


One of the best passive aggressive notes I seen in a while. What a rather creative way of getting people to replace toilet paper. Then again, I imagine it must be a pain when nature calls and there is no toilet paper in sight. Oh, dear.

Now, imagine the Jordanian version of this note. Post your version in the comments below. The best one will get a pat on the back! I have a feeling Garfan will win this one though.

If you don't replace the toliet paper rolls, you will be accused of cursing his majesty! Do you hate your entire family?

Xbox Live Renewal

If the Xbox 360 was not good enough when it first came out, people would have been won back by the multiplayer feature, Xbox Live. This feature is not just another way to get more money into Microsoft's account, but it rather makes the multiplayer experience much smoother and enjoyable.

For example, Xbox Live lets you use one account - your profile, for every game and through your profile you can connect to friends and talk to them via a headset, or invite them to parties through which you can move together from one game to another with ease.

Its a rather hard job to find an Xbox Live membership in Jordan, due to the fact its not really supported by Microsoft. Instead I hooked up with a freelance modder for the Xbox 360, who turned out to be a great person who modded my Xbox and sold me a three month membership to Xbox Live.

The guy himself is a little younger than my father, and for some reason is a dad but mods Xboxs. I can now play on the Xbox online without having to worry about buying more games from abroad for high prices.

For those of you wanting to game with a fellow blogger, my gamertag is InboundSage. I use that one for online gameplay, but for offline gameplay and talking to friends I use the rather creative gamertag of NotAnotherBlog.

You'll find me playing either Call of Duty 5, Far Cry 2, or Sid Miers Civilization: Revolution. Sorry, but no Halo 3 people - I never liked the game and Call of Duty is better than it in multiplayer. Add any multiplayer suggestions to the comments!

Thursday, July 2, 2009

Israel Inflicted Wanton Destruction

A report released earlier this day by Amnesty International details many war crimes carried out deliberately by Israeli soldiers during the twenty-two day war on the Gaza strip. Here are a few excerpts from the news articles describing the war crimes. I leave it to you to choose if Israel will ever be punished for these crimes or if this report will collect dust in the United Nations archives cabinet.

Hundreds of Palestinian civilians were killed using high-precision weapons, while others were shot at close range, the group Amnesty International says.

Amnesty cited evidence that Israeli troops put children and other civilians in harm's way "by forcing them to remain in or near houses which they took over and used as military positions".

Amnesty said: "Much of the destruction was wanton and deliberate, and was carried out in a manner and circumstances which indicated that it could not be justified on grounds of military necessity."

It says "disturbing questions" remain unanswered as to why children playing on roofs and medical staff attending the wounded were killed by "highly accurate missiles" whose operators had detailed views of their targets.

The document also gives details of several cases where it says people - including women and children posing no threat to troops - were shot at close range as they were fleeing their homes in search of shelter.

Although rockets fired by Palestinian fighters from the Gaza Strip rarely caused casualties, they often sowed fear and panic amongst Israeli citizens and their use was "indiscriminate and hence unlawful under international law," the report said.

Amnesty said it found no evidence to support Israeli claims that Hamas fighters deliberately used civilians as "human shields" during the conflict.

[source: bbc news, al jazeera english]